On Being Beautiful

About a year ago, I embarked on a journey to improve my health and fitness. For the first time in my life, I took control of my habits and started to change them. I started eating better, exercising regularly, getting enough sleep, etc. All the things we know we should do but don’t always do consistently. Since starting this journey, I have slimmed down quite a bit and have grown stronger. I can run miles (plural!!), which I had never thought I would be able to do. I have more energy and I have seen an overall improvement in my appearance. I’ve received many compliments on my improved looks and that is exciting and appreciated.

However, something I realized while going through this journey is that I always was beautiful. I was unhealthy, but there was always something about me which was beautiful. Whether it was my eyes, my long graceful fingers, or my cute button nose, I always held beauty. I still do hold beauty, and there are things about me which as they change catch me as striking. For instance, as my thighs slim down I notice that they are long and have a soft grace about them but also the strength and power to carry me over distances. It’s an amazing work of art, my body, and I am just waiting to see what the next stage of the sculpting reveals.

We don’t have to break down and destroy what we were to become what we want to be. Achieving goals, being at a certain weight or dress size will not automatically make me happy with myself. I have to remind myself to appreciate and love where I am now. I don’t live in shame because I was (and am still) overweight, I just am thankful that I started changing it while I still can. I was and am still beautiful, and so are you.

My journey begins…

 

Okay, so it’s not entirely true. I officially started this journey March 9th, but I’ve been busy lazy about updating. However, it has come to critical mass on my mind, so attention must be paid, because I know there will come a point in all this where I am weak and I want to throw in the towel and give up. Hopefully, whenever that happens, I’ll read this and be encouraged.

I’ve been heavy all my life. Call it what you want, I was an obese child and now I’m an obese adult. I was always much more in touch with my imagination than my feet as a child. I’m not blaming anyone, because although there were factors which lead to my weight, the decision not to do something about my size is inevitably mine. I turned 27 this year. I realized that if I don’t do something about my weight and my lifestyle then I’m not going to live to a ripe old age to torment those I love. 😀

So, March 9th marked a change in my lifestyle. I started walking, going to the gym, using the Wii Fit and basically doing anything that would add some movement to my life. Unfortunately, I did not take my starting weight. This was partially due to the fact that I just didn’t want to know it and also because I didn’t have an accessible scale that could record my weight (I’m unfortunately heavy enough to need a higher capacity scale).

But honestly, that’s okay, because I know I’m not in this for the numbers. I’m truly, and finally(!!), ready for lifestyle change. I want to eat healthier and be more active. I want to someday do the Run for the Zoo or something like that and actually RUN it. I want to be able to do a martial art or dance and be graceful.  And I’m on my way.

They say it takes 21 days to create a habit. I’ve been doing this almost twice that and I can tell that it is a habit. I don’t always work as hard some days as I do others. I eat better some days than I do others. The point is that I’m trying and it’s showing. Multiple people have mentioned it to me at work and I can feel the difference. My body feels better, I have more energy. My body is tightening up and leaning down. It’s a fantastic feeling and I want to keep it up. I’m not afraid or ashamed to get on the scale anymore, because I see the numbers going down and I see progress. It’s not about where I was, it’s about where I am, where I’m going and the journey to get there.

(This is kind of all over the place, but that’s kind of the point of a blog, right? – I don’t have to censor or gather myself in a journal style entry, as far as I’m concerned.)